Agoraphobia

I am currently on my third week as a college student . it sucks couz I feel mistreated . I am trying my best to be a good student . the only thing is I don't freakin have a book . up to now I still don't have a book ? wtf ? I don't see any light in my future again . I pity myself . how wonderful . damn . i'm using too many oxymoron on my statements . you know what irritates me right now ? its hateful people are confessing their feelings without even knowing the feelings of the person they are confessing to . so what ? they get to say what they want and get away with it ? what happens to me now ? what ever happened to asking my feelings ? asdfghjkl; chill nicole ._. . . . . . . . anyways . tomorrow . we could finally meet our ECE1OO professor . its annoying to waste 2 meetings with a non sense professor who in reality isn't related to us . just filling in is the best term . I hate wasting my time . waiting . well speaking of waiting . Jhek Castolome finally broke the record of testing my patience . both waiting and my agoraphobic tendencies . I wanted to vomit again . its so stupid of me actually to wait in front of the book store . but I forgot the fact that it was the time where most students would probably be dismissed . as time flew my mind was going on its own hiatus without my consent . even faces of who was important was fading . damn i hate being agoraphobic . I was only waiting for 4O minutes I guess . but it felt like hell waiting for someone . was it worth it to wait for him just to not be lonely on the way home ? maybe ? I convince myself almost every time that the person who just walked past the corridor is someone I know but doesn't notice me . its weird . and shameful of me . I was about to lose my sanity . but I felt relieved that he approached me . to be honest . I almost forgot of his face while sitting there for 4O minutes . I couldn't bring out my tears when he came . I just pretended to have colds . why was I so happy to see him when he let me wait in hell ? I wanted to let him suffer . but I need to do that some other time . I feel sick again . this time colds ? i'm over coughs now . maybe next week . allergies ? haha dunno . im singing come what may again :))

IDon'tReallyLikeBeingTeasedToSomeoneWhoIsn'tVeryHonestOfHisIntentions