legoHouse

hi . I just wanna drop in
I feel really miserable again . like I don't have any more right to be happy
Well that is to be expected . for one . I did disobey one of the ten commandments

"Thou shall honor thy mother and father"

Well I did freakishly consumed myself only yo loathe my father since the day he hurt my sister . He did humiliate us and I feel really scarred . I feel unworthy of anything . you basically feel that way if your own father dishonors you .
I also feel empty when I look at this house . this is a house . but I feel like . this will never be a home for me anymore . I feel familiar to this place at the same time alienated by it . I feel really lonely .
All these responsibilities . All these worries . I really feel like I am nothing of my age . I really feel old now . like I never lived life on the right age . I feel really sad .
sorry but this isn't a rant anymore . I'm not angry . I'm miserable
Thanks friend,
--NicoLe`
distressedloser

Hypocrite.:|

I just wanted to say how annoyed I am with myself because I can't seem to get over books . Well I do hope I will use this blog now . I just want to say first that books are really are an obsessive objects for me . not generally just books . couz you know . I don't read novels as physical books nowadays . I kinda read them through epubs or pdfs :| its kinda depressing in a way . but it gets me more with nothing to spend . which also makes me feel like a pirate ~.~ honestly its revolting couz I really hate pirates (media pirates) but currently I am one myself . I have a dream of eradicating piracy in the Philippines . Its frustrating and annoying that I can't do anything about it as a student couz honestly I can't help not buying pirated products as well . It breaks me to be a hypocrite . I gotta stop . anyways I'll be blogging about books I can't talk about to other people so rather than discussing it to other people who are unwilling to listen . I'll just make a full description of what I would say to a real person . well this is a sad activity o.O but I would start doing this for recreation . I hope :|