my first and last retreat ever as a high school student . well I didn't have the opportunity of having a retreat when I was in grade school . i've learned a lot and had fun as well during my stay there . but I still couldn't stop myself from crying when I was there . I really suck at stopping myself sometimes ~.~ well anyway . lets start from the beginning . since I just saw last night the list of students in each section this year . I have to say the way the sections are formed . i totally sucks . anyway . I remember not wanting to be at Pascal at first . I wanted to be at Thomson . knowing both Kathleen and Arjone are there . and nothing else would matter . but I didn't push myself anymore . I don't want to change that anymore . so I just let Pascal sink in . I remember being late for the first day . I got there like 9 already . Kesha didn't wake me up . she stupidly forgot about the fact it was my first day on my last year as high school student . she stupidly didn't realize I wanted to end it before it even started . but I guess my hate for expectations and plans worked up . I learned a lot from them . I learned how to be myself and let myself grow . I became more expressive . not only through this blog . but through words . I also learned that people can accept me for who I really am . I guess I have been afraid of expressing myself due also to my fear of discrimination and false stories about me in which I have encountered few years before so . I wasn't afraid of it really . it just realized that if they hate me for that . then I won't show them anything to make them feel like that . I guess I treasure my senior year most because they make me feel more comfortable of myself . even if some of them got irritated at my old laugh . they'd even laugh at me . they made me happy on my birthday . I never felt so special on my birthday ever . it wasn't really because of me . it was because of the Filipino day :)) boooo feeler :)) I experienced rejoicing due to winning a single game in a division . even if its THAT game only that you didn't get to be 4th place in . the tears and laughter at the retreat . the secrets revealed . the trust you hold on to . The excitement of being free for the first time . they thought me how to really have fun . and be out with them . ate and liked congee for the first time . they removed almost fears . shared controversies . we even open more space for a new brother at the almost end of the year . a person from the other section couldn't handle the situation they had at his section . he was more comfortable with himself . but I know in myself . Pascal isn't really perfect . we still experience problems . some being closefisted . sometimes they even hated one another because of either the way they behave or just plain financial problems . we thought we were falling apart at the almost end of the year . like our new brother's section . was it really ? almost all the sections was in peril . everyone is in pain . not wanting to let go of one another . most dramatic scene i've ever encountered during high school O.o I mean it O.o I keep seeing people crying during completion and clearance week O.o I thought someone died or something :)) even now people are still dramatic . I just went to sir Erbert's wall . I was really sad for him . him having a new set of kids . not really wanting them . and he still holds on to his Galibogs . I just realized . its not only the Retreat thats my favorite memory . its my whole senior year :D ♥
Pascal.(: ♥
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