Dear blog,
Please start telling me what to do. I have no one left. Have I really been stripped bare of all the relationships I had? I feel all anxieties are coming back. I can't talk. I don't know what is real anymore. I feel like I lost everything. I hate myself for being weak. I hate myself for not asserting myself earlier. I seriously should've just ended everything before when I first thought about leaving rather than waiting for something to happen. Now that something did I feel like I made the wrong decision. How can I possibly redeem myself? I want to be helped but the feeling of wanting to be alone is more prominent. Please stay by my side blog ok? I don't want to leave the world just yet.
--ニコル
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