Dang it . These 4 weeks have been too fast I think . Im getting more and more anxious as the days go by . Its already feb 12 . 5 days left :( I think I haven't made any progress with self actualization again . I've been lazy and I've been feeling awful these days . I want to get closer but I feel like i'm getting farther apart from her . I think I don't need to keep saying I miss her anymore . I cant even have a personal conversation with her . I really wish sometimes that I have a relationship with her like how I see my friends a lot . I, in all honesty, have been very jealous of my friends . I don't see myself as happy as they do . I'm too different :(
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